Did it!

Well, I finally broke down and bought a bike. I've wanted one of these babies ever since the day that I first realized that I could die. I mean, seriously, what else can make you feel more alive then the prospect of death? When I'm doing wheelies at 180mph life can't get much better - except maybe doing stoppies at 180mph. Sometimes when I'm feeling really nuts I do a wheelie and a stoppie at the same time! Yeah, I'm pretty awesome!

Ok, ok, so I might be lying a little bit. I never do wheelies. And, um, I never do stoppies. And, I don't go 180mph. And, I'm not totally stupid! But, I really did buy the bike in this picture. It looks a little like a sport bike, but it's more of a cruiser. It's great for strolling around at a leisurely pace on a day of pleasant weather.

Actually, the real reason I bought the bike is because since I live alone, own a cat, and dress nice-enough, I think my neighbors have begun to think I must be a little light in the loafers (if you catch the euphemism). I mean, only big bad fat dudes, cocky punks, and tough guys ride bikes, right?

Cocky punks ought to watch this (some people are idiots). WARNING: people with weak stomachs and pregnant women shouldn't watch this video. There's no blood, but there's a lot of flippin' and a floppin'.