Another Long Post by Mike.
September 22nd, 2005.
I will try to highlight each paragraph so you can decide if you want to read it all.
Rob’s condition. Denise and I arrived at 7:50 this morning in an attempt to catch the doctors. We had missed them. They do their rounds between 6 and 8 AM to avoid family encounters, I think. Rob had asked them how much longer he would be in here. They said he needed to get his breathing down and then they would consider removal of chest tubes and allow him to proceed with therapy. He seemed a little frustrated this morning. I like to see that because it means he is focusing on being home and not all the pain of surgery and the struggle for every breath. His statistics look better each day - if only by a little. His heart rate is now at the low 90’s, blood pressure is 125/64, oxygen levels at 95%. He is back on the respirator at present but I hope the respiratory therapist will put him back on cpap to breathe more on his own. The O2 level on the machine is still at 60%. While breathing on his own through the machine the 02 needs to be at 40% to imitate normal breathing. He is basically breathing through a long straw. Normal O2 in the air is about 21%. His chest tubes seem to be releasing very small amounts of fluid - which is normal. They have begun thinning his blood so we are nervous about any more internal bleeding. He is being given morphine on a less frequent basis now and he is not real happy about that since his pain level is still about a 6-7 out of 10. That is a good improvement in the last 3 days. He is sitting up now but still leaning back which is great-- compared to being hunched over all the time like before. He does not want his feet, back, or neck massaged right now. His window shades were open when we came in and he did not want them pulled. This is also a great move to allow him to get his night and day time orientation. With the coming of hurricane Rita I am not as happy to have large windows in his 7th floor room. We will check to see what precautions they are taking for flying debris and high winds. He is still getting drugs to control the heart rate and blood pressure and they are working better as his body heals from the most recent surgery. He is moving his left arm a little more and that is encouraging. His color looks a little pale and I sometimes wonder if they have equalized blood input with all the blood loss he has had. They draw blood from his leg IV and I will check on the indications with the nurse. It is pretty quiet around here this morning and the city is beginning to look like a ghost town. I hope enough staff stays on through the storm to care for the patients here. I just asked Rob if he remembers the deal his brother Brian made with him about growing his beard. Bri can’t remember if it was until Rob got off the respirator or until he got out of the hospital. Rob smiled, but could not recall either. It is just heart warming to see him relax in his bed and look bored and frustrated with the whole thing. Yesterday as his PCA, (personal care assistant) Sharon, gave him a bed bath, she could sense he was becoming frustrated and a little down. In her great happy voice and big smile, (with her heart shaped gold tooth) said “The good Lord is in control! You know dat? You know he won’t gei you mo dan you can hanel - you knows he won’t!” I just love her. She is such a happy worker and makes many bright moments in Rob’s days.
What do we do all day? Our normal day is that I come over at 8 in the morning and sometimes Denise joins me. The mornings are great times --when Rob has had a reasonable sleep. Marla and Diane come over at about 10 and stay until about 12-30 or 1. Then Denise, or Jen or I give them a break for lunch. Marla and Diane come back about 3-30 to 4 and stay until 6. We sometimes change things around to allow for laundry, shopping, and other small chores to be done. In the evening Diane and Marla usually come over with some assistance by Denise, Jen, Landon and me. Our days are pretty full between visiting Rob, shopping for stuff, doing laundry, checking email and returning calls. Denise is trying to read her college course work and I am trying to stay up with work by email and phone. Diane has gotten the girls interested in reading Mary Higgins Clark books so they have a little diversion. I bought this laptop so I can keep up with work stuff and write long posts to bore all of you. When Rob is resting we can get some reading and writing done. We have 2 rooms in the local Best Western which is about a 7-10 minute walk to Rob’s room. It is an ok place but the elevators seem to be out of order as much as they are working. We are on the 4th floor so we get a little extra exercise. They have a tiny little kitchen and Diane and Denise purchased a toaster and skillet so we have toast, grilled cheese, and some stir fry meals to avoid eating out so much. Our hotel rooms have two separate rooms, each with a nice TV with about 12 channels. Yesterday Marla got a package from her sister Nichole with a DVD player so maybe we could watch some movies now.
Jen and Landon, our refugees. Since hurricane Katrina, it has been a pleasure to have Jen and Landon here. Landon went home for awhile and just returned yesterday - just in time for hurricane Rita. Jen and Landon feel like they may be jinxed. They found a couple apartments in a complex about 10 minutes away and were supposed to be able to move in yesterday -- however, the offices already closed down due to the hurricane. We were trying to get household items to help them get set up but we need to wait now. I enjoy having them at the hotel with us for a few more days. We may consider moving in with Jen for awhile starting in a week or so. Jen had orientation and is supposed to start back at her job on Monday but now with the hurricane she may need to wait some more. Landon is scheduled to start medical schooling again on Monday. We found a lot of cool stuff at IKEA for cheap furnishings for their apartments. Jen negotiated a great deal at the mattress store near their apartments so they each have a mattress. (no frame or box spring. - It is great to be young and able to get by on so little.) They both have such great abilities and wonderful dispositions.
Future plans. I was scheduled to fly home for a week this Sunday. With the hurricane, I have changed those to Tuesday. My clients have been patient but the IRS is not. I am hoping that I can pay the bills, get caught up at work and return the following Tuesday. I have been constantly scheduling out Rob’s recovery on a daily schedule I keep. It has been changed many times but it is important to have small goals to work towards. At present I am projecting another 3-6 days in intensive care and then a transition to another facility where Rob can be up and around and gain back his strength. I would expect a week or two in there and then be able to come home. Melissa may come out during the time I am gone to be with Denise. It is so helpful to have someone close during many of these times. My prayer is that Rob will now have a normal, steady recovery.
Thoughts on adversity. I do not feel like I have had much adversity in my life. Even now, it is not me that is in pain or hurting. I can understand the need to go through difficult times in order to become stronger, wiser, and more empathetic. Many times we have wished that we could take Rob’s pain so he could rest. As a parent there is a deep hurt when you have a sick child - you feel somehow responsible for the suffering. You do not feel like you deserve to be happy or comfortable when your child is hurting. You feel so helpless to comfort the one you love. I try to understand a little of what Rob is going through based on my heart surgery in May. I have been told by the staff here that “that was like having a band-aid put on compared to what he is going through!” Even with the little I went through it allows me to understand how totally exhausted you can be. I remember crying at the breakfast table one morning, 2-3 weeks after the surgery. I didn’t know if I would ever feel strong again. I do feel strong again! Time -- that is the answer to so many of our challenges. We can’t get around them, we cannot avoid many of them, we need to take the TIME to go through them. It is the process of time that teaches us the lessons that will help us in the eternities. Before Rob’s surgery it was clear that he had already been through enough with his other two surgeries to be at peace with the procedures he would be facing. It is so clear that his wisdom came from suffering through his other two operations. He is young in years but very mature in his understanding of life. I love the promise in Corinthians from Paul which says we do not see clearly now - but we will. I know that the process of understanding all these things comes with time, and I know that we will learn to accept and even embrace all these experiences - in time.
Thank you all! It has been a real help to read all you comments and hear from so many of you. Denise and I have commented many times that it is so comforting to know that Rob is remembered in so many prayers, notes, thoughts, videos, pictures, etc. I have not worried about home with Melissa watching over things. It was so great to get a call from Uncle Gordon last night and his reassurance that our basement would not flood even though the power was out and our sump was ready to overflow. After he talked to me, while in the basement, he did not disconnect his cell phone. I heard him talking to Tom and telling him, “We gotta get a power cord over here somehow.” Tom said, “Run a cord from our house? Are you crazy?” I then hung up with the comfort that it would be figured out. Thanks, Gordon, for always making me feel like there is nothing you would not do for us!!! And for the call back that you got it all taken care of. I appreciate all the offers of help from all of you and I know if I needed anything I could call on any of you. Thanks, Brian, for the great web site and the work to keep it all going. Thanks, Kevin, for being such a hard working missionary. Keep up the great service. It is so nice to have Jen here and a willing partner in visiting and supporting Rob. Most of all, like always, I cannot describe my gratitude for Marla. She is a mature, loving, faithful, beautiful wife. Rob is so blessed to have such a wonderful, best friend. Thank you Diane for being such a great support and comfort to Marla. Thanks, Kent for letting your lovely wife be away so long. To my wife of 30 years (Our anniversary is in 4 more days!) and my best friend, I love you and thank you for caring for all of us so tenderly. Thank you all, so much.
