Whew... I needed to recover from an intense debate session prompted by my previous blog. Thanks everybody. It was fun. If it isn't clear by now, you may realize how much I like writing. I'm not that good at it, and I figure only by doing a lot of it I might improve. So, thanks to everybody who comments because it gives me reason to write.
From some reason I’ve had on my mind the power of human contact – the power of touch. I’m not a big fan of talking on the phone and I think one of the main reasons is that I don’t feel as connected, I feel like I’m missing out on something. I’m missing out on reading facial expressions and body language. Verbal communication is such a small part of our interactions with each other. What makes us connect with another? Why do some exchanges stick out more than others?
I’ve wondered about this concept as I’ve looked back over my short life. There have been people who have a powerful place in my memory and I wonder why. I image that one of the reasons is that we just connect due to our similarities: shared humor, philosophical ideas, hobbies, miscellaneous interests help to integrate me with another person.
One thing that has really started revealing itself to me as a form of connection is touch. I started realizing this after I often found myself wondering why an older fellow at church seemed to surface in my memory upon reflection of my past week. Why did this man stand out like a father figure? Of course, one may think the reason comes from the spiritual conductivity of church or one might argue for the effect of admiration for wisdom from a generation beyond my own. Though, these may be part of an aggregate rationale, I believe one thing that excels in meaning is that this gentleman used fatherly touch as a way to connect.
When he would talk to me he would put his arm around my shoulder like he was telling me something very important. Or, when he asked how my week had been he would grasp a hold of my elbow and hold it as we conversed. Often when he would pass by he would pat me on the back and give me a smile.
Nobody had a bad thing to say about the man. I think everyone felt connected to him like I did because of the way he used physical touch as form of interest and communication. I think we all felt like he listened to our lives with more then just his ears – he seemed to physically absorb our hearts.
It was something I will always remember and cherish. It is something that I have tried to use when I communicate with friends – it seems to help. It is something I will try to do when I listen to my (future) wife and children.
Why is touch so important? Why do we all crave it? How come it makes us feel more alive and connected to the rest of the world? Why do we seldom use the technique? How come it’s so hard for me utilize the theory with my direct family?
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